Make Love - Not Porn
February 3rd, 2018
Dear Loved Ones:
I have noticed you distancing yourself. It’s not like you to be so “standoff-ish”. It makes me wonder what’s going on? I want you to know that I am here for you in whatever you need.
Does the start of this letter have a tinge of familiarity? If your on either side of this letter, I want to introduce you to a potential answer... MAKE LOVE NOT PORN!
The month of February often coincides with intimacy, compassion, and love. No matter if you’re single or have been in a long-term relationship, you can’t get away from the idea of romance and cupid’s arrow.
I am re-introducing makelove-notporn.com: the idea, the movement and the month long practice of destroying the relationship with pornography or sex addiction and cultivating intimacy and love with your partner(s). Right now this is just a landing page that goes directly to my website. In the future I am envisioning a chatroom, virtual support group and environment that offers skills, education and most of all understanding around this epidemic. So in the meantime.... I am inviting you into a dialogue personally with me. via email, and the "old-school dialogue" free of charge where you can ask any questions, get feedback, explore dialogues and start the healing process.
What I don’t want is a bunch of people learning about eradicating their pornography relationship only to be stuck without any tools to build, learn and create love with other real people.
So for the first month of February I am inviting you into a dialogue with me and/or with your partner about eliminating your pornography relationship. Specifically coming to awareness around your relationship with sexuality and pornography. Then as the weeks an months go on learn the bench marks to a healthy, thriving relationship full of LOVE.
The following are ways to introduce healthy habits to foster the conversation of this affliction.
Be completely honest with yourself. This is going to be a “broken record” in a way, you will here the idea of proactive honest, how aligned are you with what you are saying?
Obtain and maintain frequent contact with a therapist. I have no problem saying that many of the topics that come up during therapy are potentially conversations that have never been shared. Do see therapy as a co-dependent exercise in “displacing” your problem on to me. It’s my job to support you guide you to self – empowerment. Eventually, sessions will get less and internal strength with becomes more.
Be patient with yourself. It usually takes at least 3 months before significant improvement occurs; so don’t give up if you don’t get the instant results. The odds are this habit has been around for a while.
Your willingness to start this conversation is going to lead you to freedom. The new skills will also help foster your intrinsic desire to again become passionate with your partner or potential partners.
I am encouraging you to take the challenge, makelove-notporn.com this February. It will open you to a new way of living.
Contact me for a complementary consultation at 952-261-5269 or email at ryan@healingsoulsllc.com to discuss your plan to reconnect with you. And please don't be shy, reach out and email me with any questions and lets start this dialogue!!!
In Gratitude,
Dr. Ryan Westrum
healingsoulsllc.com
makelove-notporn.com
