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Healing Souls Sexperiment: Weekend Sexual Adventure!

Healing Souls Sexperiment: Weekend Sexual Adventure!

Bondage and discipline sadism and masochism (BDSM), polyamory relationships, naked wrestling, underwear fetish, role-playing, porn, public humiliation sex, anal play, female domination, consensual non-consensual sex, webcaming. Have I got your attention?

Society’s increasing openness toward erotica, coupled with greater exposure and opportunities today to seek out adventurous sexual behavior has certainly enabled us to broaden our sexual palate. But is the modern age genuinely any more perverse than other generations? Or have varying societal attitudes merely enabled us the freedom to pursue those sexual desires without the stigmas faced by our predecessors?

Over the course of a day I hear many people ask how can I spice up my sex life, create new ways to connect? Traditionally the answer is lying dormant within you. I am certain that many of our sexual desires have been within us; we just haven’t found a safe or comfortable way to ask for what and where we want it.In response to a recent question I was asked? How can I create more sexual adventure?

This Weekends Sexperiment is: A weekend of Sexual Adventure.

Adventurous sex involves comfort.

Before starting a weekend of Adventurous sex ask your partner their comfort zone. Don’t forget this needs to be mutual. The worst situation that could ever happen is that you have always dreamed of wanting to have sex in public and your partner is freaked out by the very thought. Make sure you have come to a consensual agreement; many adult movies filmed outside and appear to be in “public” but are created a lot of times no different then any other movie, on a closed set. Have fun and play within your comfort.

Adventurous sex involves foreplay.

Make sure you think of using the 5 senses we are blessed with. Touch, Sound, Sight, Taste and Smell. Nothing beats adventurous sexual experiences like playing with all our senses. For the novice, you can start with a blind-fold and create a sense of anticipation with your partner. It’s a great way to explore your fantasy within yourself.

Adventurous sex isn’t just the sex, have an intimate date at your local sex shop. The intimate boutiques that offer mature sexual experiences are all around. My favorite is Bondesque in Uptown Minneapolis. There you can get lost in all your senses and walk out with fun new toys to create your person adventure.

Adventurous sex involves attitude.

I’m not talking about some ‘woo-woo’ attitude, where you sit and mediate or anything like that. I will save that for the Tantric Sex conversation. I am about actual action and results.

When I say ‘positive attitude’, I really mean having the frame of mind where you are more enthusiastic about new sexual experiences, whether they are games, positions techniques or something else. This is with the understanding you are comfortable with your partner and safe to ask or be curious about something. So be adventurous, “so what do you think of doing it here?” Again the freedom to talk about it is so important. Nothing creates more excitement then a carefree attitude.

The most important trait that your partner needs to have is that they make you feel comfortable and at ease when you are around him. If they are overly domineering or too much of an ‘alpha’ then you may feel intimidated when it comes to trying new things and becoming more sexually adventurous.

Adventurous sex involves playing a new role.

A lot of people are more sexually submissive than sexually dominant. They prefer for their partner to be the one to take control in the bedroom. If you prefer being the submissive one in bed, then it’s no big deal. But if you want to become more sexually adventurous then it’s time to start exploring your dominant side. The next time you are home alone with your partner, grab them and drag them into the bedroom.

BDSM isn’t just whips and chains. Power exchange in the bedroom can be so adventurous. Taking on a new role can lead to a great deal of new experiences and feelings you may never have had before.

Adventurous sex involves adventure

Everyone wants to hang from a trapeze and have crazy sex that lasts for hours, and yet the reality is we are creatures or pattern. By simply trying a new position, changing scenery, and finding a new toy can do all the world of difference. Try the new position, go to the park on a sunny day and flirt with the idea of sex in public. Find “your” comfort zone for adventure, be it going to the local “look-out” or maybe you’ve never been outside of your bedroom. In honor of the board game Clue pick a room and go to town. The more you explore your limits, get out side of what is the routine, the more you will find your sweet spot and reconnect with you own passion.

Adventure is created by the individual and maximized by the understanding and consent of your partner. When done right all parties will be left with a glow of ecstasy. Most of all have fun!

Dr. Ryan Westrum is a sex therapist that works in the Minneapolis community, you can contact Ryan at 952-261-5269 or

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