You Can Call Me - I Dare You
I think this is true to some degree. You have to be a little crazy to try going on your own. Either a romantic optimist, or someone so confident or stupid you just don't know better. Now to clarify I am talking about living without a smartphone. Not following me up a mountain in Africa or saving the world.
This month I am celebrating a little over 2 years without a smartphone. And I will say that I believe I have crossed a new threshold regarding my desire to stay smartphone free. Insert sarcastic editorial… Wait I need to fucking take a picture of my lunch and Instabook or Chirp it. Please forgive me for the crass digression; it has been a bit loud since stepping away from the phone. I know what your thinking just like a dry drunk – edgy and bitter. That’s a fair question and I will share more about that later. Please understand dropping my fucking phone did come with a cost, a lot of people were confused, it was really fucking lonely for a minute, it has come with a lot of pain, suffering and internal narratives that often have shaken me to the core.
Yet, over the course of the last two years there have also been some remarkable accomplishments both professionally and personally that I would not have been witness to or even been able to have without giving up the smartphone. Simply put I am happier, more grounded and present in my life.
Here are some lessons I have learned in two years without a smart phone.
Fear of missing out (FOMO) is real.
It’s a thing. When you walk away from your phone you are not only changing the way you are engaging in the world you are also realigning what you are allowing into your day to day experience. By walking away from the phone you quickly learn how much apps, social media exchange and time were spent chasing the dopamine dragon. The dopamine dragon being the quick comfort fix everyone gets from watching cute little kittens, new dance moves, weird attempts at biohacking your life and any other thing that provides you comfort… cough – cough living up to the Jones…
By stepping away from your phone you will not be missing out on someone else’s life. You will get your life back and start to live it with full presence. Who fucking cares if Kim Kardashian and Pete Davison broke up.
An Exercise to try: Over the course of a weekend. Pick a day to live without your telephone. And if you are climbing a mountain in Africa, simply let others know before you start climbing.
Your anxiety will diminish greatly.
It’s fact no matter which way you flip it, the phone promotes chaos, stress, anxiety and worse case scenario a desire to create a bunker in your backyard and have a “bug-out” bag ready for the zombie apocalypse. Seriously, what I have felt over the course of the pandemic and dropping my phone is peace, calmness, and a ridiculous sense of ease in my life. This is not to suggest that by simply dropping my phone I have become a Buddhist monk. On the contrary I am still the same person, with just a different awareness of my emotions and tolerance for stress, and anxiety. Right, Ryan? Wait what did you say...
Moreover, what I want to encourage you to consider is by stepping away from the phone you are also walking away from “stressors” and “anxieties” that are not yours to carry – like the insane tragedy of Kim Kardashian and Pete Davison still being broken up… See how different that affected me this time? And I am still aware of the world going on around me without a smart phone. Leading me to the next lesson. Using a phone for a phone and my other devices for what they are meant to be used for.
An exercise to try: Over the course of a week pay close attention to how your stress and anxiety changes when your holding your phone compared to when you walk away or set it down. Yeap!
You relearn to use the phone for a phone call.
A great personal accomplishment is the fact I now use a phone for phone calls. The elementary idea of using a tool for what it is originally used for is great. And I am well aware the smart phone is much more than a phone. However, just consider actually looking at your phone in whatever manifestation it is and ask yourself one question. How much do I actually talk on it? And what am I actually using it for?
The fact is, you become chained to the smartphone the more you think you need to use it from everything from taking pictures, tik-chatting, and playing fucking games on it.
An exercise to try: For one day only talk on your smart phone. Yeap!!!
There is no room for bitterness. I don’t feel as if I stepped away from a smart phone has left me feeling like a dry drunk, Actually the opposite, I am grateful to meet you where you are and embrace all things you are drawn to doing. Furthermore, as long as there is the question addressed “why so serious?” or "is this serious?", mixed with joy and humor as I learn about you and you learn about healing.
I am so happy not having the telephone providing me with phantom vibrations (honestly it takes 6 months for them to stop) and I am truly happy to be connecting deeper with my clients, my family and Ryan… Yes, my third person self.
The Ultimate lesson is I get to learn about myself and be with myself. By dropping the fucking smartphone I am more than ever in my life, more comfortable with all of me.
Take the challenge. Join me for a digital detox and learn the way to still have a life, a career, and a relationship and love yourself. Call me at 952-261-5269.