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The Autonomously Driven Companionship

An Automatously Driven Companionship (Yes I am aware it's a mouth full!)

It is not my traditional blog to go with out talking about the latest sexual concern nor is my attempt to mesmerize you with philosophical “New Agey” jargon. However, the latest experiences I have been having with clients has made me aware of the deep need to remind people of this idea of “Automatously Driven Companionship”. So what do I mean when I say this? Let me use a story to introduce it to you.

A client state’s, “I want to be with my partner, love them and trust that they love me, continue to share our lives and whatever comes with it. AND I want to have my alone time, with the opportunity to long for them and do what I enjoy doing without them.”

To break it down, people are looking to be independent with belonging, love with freedom, and togetherness with individuality.

Automatously - with the freedom to act independently.

Companionship - a feeling of fellowship or friendship.

What we rightly yearn for is some sort of real substance, a substance that delivers both freedom and a feeling of togetherness. Real lasting meaning in a partnership, couples that aren’t out to get each other, rather they recognize when they need space and independence, or when they need nurturing love and company.

When you boil it all down, I am talking about a multitude of reminders that build healthy relationships through examining your needs. The following are a couple of ways to build an Automatously Driven Companionship.

Learning to Meet Your Own Needs

When we slow down and look at our relationships, we recognize our place and bond with another; we quickly learn someone can help us. Although, it is really only you that can really know what, when, and why you need something, this is not to be confused with not asking for help. This notion of learning to meet your own needs will greatly connect you with your true self.

Do you remember what your security is? How do you find peace within yourself?

These are just a couple questions that will start to remind you how to meet your own needs.

Learn to Embrace The Other

Do you remember when you fell head over heels for your partner? Yeah, that’s right you thought everything was beautiful, you might have even tried something you never would have down in your wildest imagination. So what’s stopping you now?

Simply ask your partner what they want to do? Learn to challenge yourself to seek understanding for why they like what they like?

Seeking understanding rather then just assuming you know is such a creative way to remember what drew you to them in the first place.

Seek The Novelty in Both Your Desires and Theirs

Novelty is new! For both the sake of your own automatously driven life and your life with your partner, try new things by yourself and with your love. Don’t get hampered down with redundancy. It’s a cancer to relationship.

So you are starting to see the immense potential of rekindling not only the spark in your relationship but a newfound spark in your life too. To amass an “Automatously Drive Companionship” I think it is a great way to get everything you are rightfully deserving of and along the way you build trust, love, and mutual acceptance all keys to a happy life.

At the end of the day, remember to make this your own experience! Whatever your stance is, one thing is for certain, we all deserve to have our needs met and our needs fulfilled both by a partner and from within ourselves.

Dr. Ryan Westrum is an educator, counselor and sex therapist that uses sex positive viewpoints to help couples find their true authentic way in their world. You can connect Ryan for a complementary 30-minute consultation via email or phone at or 952-261-5269.

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