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In Between A Memory And A Dream: A Street Car To The Past

Last week I was walking across some common train tracks towards a familiar tunnel bridge. In this tunnel I have had pleasant memories in the past. As I sat in the tunnel I could hear the distance voices above me as they ran towards the lake festivities. Within that moment a kaleidoscope of fond memories flooded me from both recent past and what was starting to feel like a dream.

Curiosity got the best of me and I meandered up the crumbing stairs towards the lake and then intuitively back up towards a discreet little train station. I was starting to feel an uncanny feeling of being here once before. Resting quietly at the station was not a traditional train, rather a delicate streetcar facing the tucked away tunnel a quarter mile in the distance.

I was holding my son and looked at the streetcar with both excitement and marvel. It felt as if I was between a memory and a dream.

A side note, I have lived and worked around the local chain of lakes off and on throughout my entire life, yet I had never heard of or seen this streetcar. So being my outgoing self I went inside the station to see what was going on. And then it kept getting stranger. There was a man and women both fully decked out in what I now would call 1930’s streetcar attire, whatever the fuck that is – it was it. I had never seen or heard of what the two people were sharing with us. All the while I was listening to their description of how to get a token for a ride, I couldn’t help but think I had been here before. Not just in this life with those wonderful memories, but also at a different time. So in classic Ryan fashion – I kept open, kept breathing and kept exploring.

Fast foreword, my partner in crime in hand and I were invited to walk to the platform and into the streetcar. There I dropped the two tokens in the till. And then I closed my eyes, and opened to my other senses. Immediately feeling my son’s comfort in my arms and my comfort on this car. I was feeling something “different” threw the rickety sounds of wheels snaking towards the tunnel.

The streetcar started its way done the tracks and I instantly started to connect to another time, another story, and dare I say another lifetime. Within an indescribable amount of time I was placed in an era that was cocooned within this trolley’s vessel only to come to a gentle stop right in front of a very familiar locally famous cemetery. In this cemetery, in this lifetime, I had walked and gotten lost only to find curious headstones and familiar comfort in spirits. And now I was getting a glimpse of a true knowing from another time.

For a brief period I was able to both stay in the past and feel the present. Connecting a past life and present moment.

People often ask me if past lives are real, and can we gain access to them? The answer is yes.

I think one of the most interesting ways to connect and feel into a past life is through non-ordinary states of consciousness, be this breathwork, psychedelic experiences and dreams. Which leads me to digress a bit and talk about reincarnation and then I promise back to dreams and other fun non-ordinary states.

I believe in the migration of the soul from one incarnation to another — reincarnation. To appreciate the concept of the belief of reincarnation I believe it helps to think of yourself not as a physical being having spiritual experiences, but as a spiritual being having physical experiences.

The concept of reincarnation is based on the principle of a conscious ‘self’ — independent of a physical body. This ‘self’ we know as our soul or spirit. An incarnation is considered to be the period of existence, which occurs within a living, physical body, from the moment of birth to the moment of death. Reincarnation literally means “the return to the physical body” — the rebirth of the soul. The soul’s material existence is known as the mundane or physical phase. The period between death and rebirth is known as the soul’s cosmic or spiritual phase.

So… What does this have to do with non-ordinary states like psychedelics and dreams? Simply everything. It’s as easy as saying it’s all-real. If you experienced it in a dream or a non-ordinary state process - I believe it’s real. Of course your belief in this is really up to you.

Along with the other passengers, my family and I rumbled are way back through the tunnel towards the station. And for a moment still feeling the lingering emotion of the past life experience, tears gently falling like rivers down my face – Gratitude and thanks for the life I am living and the lives I have left. I felt fully present for those at the cemetery and within that tunnel.

I personally could feel my body again in this present moment. Gently all the memories of this time and past crossed over me, not only leaving me with a tremendously unique trolley ride but a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with so much more. And I only could think to myself and to the universe, until next time.

Sharp Pivot… Dream interpretation, psychedelic integration are both ways to fully engage in processing potential past life memories and dreams. Incorporating dreamwork, integration practices and therapy are great tools to clear trauma and gain clarity of familiar and unfamiliar past memories.

To hear more about past-lives and integrating all your non-ordinary states experiences reach out at or email at


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