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Conscious Sex

I am writing this blog to express and describe the spectrum of my understanding of a conscious sex practice. The purpose of this is to break free the conundrum couples and individuals are having in the bedroom and their sex lives. Conscious sex practices can range from the normative heterosexual missionary, homosexual sex, bisexual sex, Tantra, BDSM and spiritual sexuality.

It is important to establish the understanding that I know not all sex is conscious, all sex is not spiritual; sex can be just a physical connection that is ok. I want you to learn all the levels. Experiencing sex for the beauty of it is the point!!!

The ability to produce trance states of consciousness or what I call holotropic states of consciousness are a particular sense of open hearted conscious sex that brings me to the world as I know it. I will talk more at another time about non-ordinary states of sex at another time. This is where you transcend time, place and environment. You lose your “Ego” self, as well as connection to another and a higher power. These are all elaborate examples that bring conscious sex to another level compared to sex. The following is six simple ideas that you can start to transcend with your partner or with yourself.

6 Conscious Sex Practices

1.Consent: Engaging with conscious sex with consent you will notice a deeper safety, deeper calm and security when you get a confident yes!

2.Get Conscious: Putting your attention on your intention of sex. Going totally into what you are doing, it is magnetic and full of intensity. You are simply using the intention of mindfulness. Think of it as something that you would normally do in 30 things and do it in the time of just 3. For example…

3.Play at the new resilience edge of resistance: Push into something to the point that it will defend against it. Play within in the spectrum of touch, sound, smell, and sight. The intention is to touch with just enough pressure that creates a desire to push just a bit more. You breathe into it and go a little further. You go a little deeper you get a little stronger. You go from 1 being mild to 10 being wild. Where is your edge?

4.Breathe: Engage in breathing, audible deep breathing, sexually speaking we don’t breathe as an organism comes we might think it has to be shut down. I challenge you to breathe into it. Don’t hold your breath when you have sex. Connect to breathing faster, slower; find a place of moderation with your partner. Imagine when you breath you are moving your breath through your genitals, fill your body and connect with your partner. By sampling putting focusing on recommitting to the breath with a intentional in breath through the mouth you can purposefully send it to specific places in your body. You will find your breath and energy.

5.Imagination: Simply have fun think creative, enjoy yourself without judgment and worry. Being in a consensual, safe, sane relationship you are able to be creative, kinky, spiritual and in control of what you want and what you have imagined.

6.Movement: Bodies are meant to be in motion they are alive with movement and it is so important to explore your true desires through movement. The only way you can move authentically is through giving into asking your inner self how you want to move. Go into the movement that you are feeling. Talk with you partner, trust hard, and shake more. Movement is energy.

By following these practices you will be able to take another step into rekindling your conscious sex practice that we all have innately needing to be felt, heard and experienced.

Ryan is the visionary for, a way to look at counseling differently. A marriage and family therapist, sex therapist that works with couples and individuals experiencing sexual addiction, sexual trauma, communication issues, anxiety and depression around sexual identification. You can contact him at or 952.261.5269.

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