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Consensual vs Non Consensual

The Consensual Ordeal

Sometimes we are in sexual experiences that are consensual setting and unfortunately many times people are forced to be in non-consensual relationships. In my mind the set and setting of the experiences and space is imperative for healing around the non-consensual sexual experiences.

We have the opportunity to choose and design our own ordeals; with an intimate and trusted partner we set aside time and can find healing. With a guide that will bring us on the journey, arrange space, choose the tools, toys and get to have our lives shaken up.

Difference between Non-Consensual and Consensually

For some of us we are born with or are given at an early age a challenge that we must rise above to live fully in this world. Some endure intense pain, hardships and violations that are undeserving and never asked for. Just as pain can be a teacher, so can any other ordeal set upon our path. Trauma and past journeys can creep into the bedroom, shaking us with memories of rape abuse or violence. With consensual BDSM experiences we play in the shadow, and sometimes the shadows we hold find intense and amazing ways to manifest.

With trust, safety, and the right set and settings we can expect to transcend into a world that blends healing and trauma. Our partners do not set off these triggers to hurt us, there is no intent to do harm. But they do happen on occasion, and it is our ordeal to work through them when they come up. In the union with a partner this is a great opportunity to let these shadows be expressed and processed in the realm of kink and sex.

Thus sometimes a scene and sexual experience had no plan of ever having the plan of exposing trauma; however, with the appropriate understanding of the spiritual journey and power play dynamics within sex and/or BDSM experiences it can all be railroaded into a life changing opportunity.


Sometimes the universe offers us trials unexpectedly. Even when we have the luxury to design our challenges, we may run into unexpected bumps involving issues of consent. We can pre-consent to activities. But until we are in the moment, we have no way of knowing how we will react. Thus it is important to always communicate with compassion and deep listening to the needs of your partner as you go through your sexual experiences.

Ryan and Healing Souls offers a safe set and setting to explore and process the identification of sexuality and all the boundaries and conversations that it brings up.

Please like this link and share it. Find Ryan at

Or call 952.261.5269 to set up a free consultation.

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