Pornography: printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.
Infidelity: Is breaking a promise to remain faithful to a sexual partner. That promise can take many forms, from marriage vows sanctified by the state to privately uttered verbal agreements between lovers. As unthinkable as the notion of breaking such bonds may be, infidelity is common. And when it does happen, it raises thorny and painful questions. Should you stay? Can trust be rebuilt? Can you and should you forgive and move on?
Pornography and infidelity are not exclusive issues, and sometimes people cheat and they say, “My partner cheated on me and I think it was with someone else.” And other times I’ve heard, “He isn’t cheating on me its pornography.”
They are one and the same to me, and what I have been experiencing in my practice is a need to clarify the similarities between the two behaviors. The fact is that if someone is unfaithful more case then not they are also abusing pornography.
It’s all deceiving behavior, what comes first the chicken or the egg? It is really hard to isolate the difference between infidelity and pornography addiction. More cases then not they are enmeshed together.
The following are questions that might help face sexual betrayal and uncover the veil of infidelity no matter if it has pornography mixed in or not.
Do I want to be emotional and vulnerable with my partner?
Do I want to be sexual out of fear they will go somewhere if I am not?
Do I think I will be able to control their behavior if I am sexual with them?
Do I believe having sex reaffirms their love for me?
Do I with hold sex as a way to punish them?
These are just a few questions I like to ask client’s to contemplate. It opens up a new sense of awareness as it relates to your concern regarding your partner’s behavior. Pornography and infidelity can be cancers to relationships. Trusting your intuition is very important please follow it.
Dr. Ryan Westrum is a sex therapist that specializes in helping heal relationships through actively finding solutions with clients. You can reach him for a complementary consultation at 952-261-5269 or firstname.lastname@example.org .