Kid's Are Curious Too!
Kids continue to use porn for many different reasons
It is the classic story of a young boy playing in the garage and stumbling upon a old crate full of Playboy’s or another pornographic magazine hidden in the bowels of dad or grandpa’s “man cave”. They are instantly flooded with emotions ranging from curiosity, fear, excitement and pure adrenaline. This story is outdated, now it is the child or teenager stumbles upon it due to the graphic nature of the Internet and search engines showing no censorship to what one types into their electronic device.
Some people have told me that they became “hooked” on porn from the moment they saw it no matter how young they were, most described moving in a rapid manner that became uncontrollable. The following are four ways children are rationalizing using pornography. It is our job as adults to help teach, guide and introduce them to the appropriate relationship that sexuality has in our lives. If we leave it up to the pornography it will become even more of a problem for not only you but your children too.
Four Potential Reasons Kids Continue to Use Porn
1. Learn about sex.
Kid’s are naturally curious about how sex works, what a naked body looks like, and what goes where. By the time we become teenagers, our raging hormones kick in and we don’t just want to know, we need to know and we need to know now! Unfortunately, the level of sex education in schools is not that detailed or satisfying. It is important to talk about the “birds and the bee’s” and acknowledge not just sex but what intimacy is too.
2. Belonging to a group.
For many teenagers porn provides a bond with others, and yes porn does not discriminate. Young men and women become curious and want to share, trade and watch pornography with their friends. Sharing something prohibited or off-limits are one-way people strengthening their bonds.
3. Sexual pleasure.
When you’re between the ages of eight and eighteen, one of the worst things in your own mind is to be considered “weird” or “different”. Each person has a unique sexual appetite and many are put into over drive with the introduction to pornography. With the “no holds barred” given to pornography on the Internet young child could get lost in their bedroom for years. Yes, I know teenagers already hate being around their parents. This is just another example of teaching and introducing healthy sexuality. Most importantly, talking about real life relationships vs. digital relationships with pornography.
4. Coping with emotional stress.
It is human nature to fight, flight or freeze when we are stressed. It is no different for young kids and teenagers with this dilemma. One of the most profound reasons why children watch porn isn’t to just learn about sex, it’s to escape emotional pressure. It is the number one pacification for stress. Which leads to a lifetime of using porn to escape pain.
The previous 4 reasons why children are watching porn is an introduction for parents and family members to start having conversation. Moreover, it is a great way to introduce being an adult, creating a intimate relationship were your children will trust coming to you.
Dr. Ryan is a sex therapist in the twin cities area specializing in helping teens and adults learn about their relationship with sexuality and pornography. Please contact Ryan at ryan@healingsoulsllc.com or call him at 952.261.5269.
