When was the last time you did something for the first time?
How many of you remember when making love, having sex and spontaneously wanting to tackle your partner(s) anywhere and everywhere was a great deal of your sexlife. Ok, I get it… It was the honeymoon period. The time, place, position and mood never mattered. One of the ultimate thrills of sex for people is the spontaneous ability to make it happen at a moments notice. It is my perspective that is what drives people. I do not think random sex with random people drives anything but a longing to connect with the physical pleasure of getting off. When you are with a person you can trust, respect and feel safe with spontaneous sex can be another chance to get what you want, instill the adrenal back in your life. It not only gets what you want but for some it gives them a chance to save something they are losing.
For this weekend’s sexperiment, I want to throw a curve ball your way! That is why I am offering up a weekday sexperiment. Oh yes some the best sex is spontaneous weekday sex. What better way to wake up then a quickie before work!
The other day I was talking to a client about how they were frustrated by the nature of needing to schedule their sex. Everything from when they were going to have sex, to how they were going to do it, and most importantly what time of day they were going to be able to do it. It didn’t end there, the client felt as if they always initiated the sex. All the way down to where they were going to cuddle, have sex or even when they could talk about sex.
How many people have been there done that? I would like to suggest an opportunity to light a spark with sexual spontaneity, this week the challenge will be to spontaneously connect with your lover. The following is a gentle guide to introduce and reintroduce people to being spontaneous with their sex life. It is my goal to ask yourself the question: When was the last time you did something for the first time?
Who: Are you always-initiating sex with your partner?
I don’t want to hang anyone out the window, but one of the fundamental benchmarks for a dull sex life is one partner always asking… “Can we have sex now? How bout now?” It begins to remind the other of a long trip to grandmas house. For those who struggle with this I recommend asking your partner(s) a simple question. “I would love it sometime this week if you would ask me.” It sounds simple but it also really makes the other person feel good too!
Have you ever fantasized about your partner being in a role you dreamed about, the sexy doctor, nurse or something super kinky like a porn star. Remember our mind is a large part of what excites us. When in doubt and feeling dull role-play, role-play. Every sex shop has a Tarzan and Jane costume.
What: My sex, your sex, or lets try something new sex?
A significant element of adding more spontaneous is thinking outside your normal routine when it comes to your sex life. I am not asking you to string chains from the ceiling and add a cross to your bedroom. A simple suggestion would be to invest in a sex toy, I do a sex toy of the m